January 29th

Today is my 7th wedding aniversary.  I have known this man since I was 15 years old.

There was a short period of about 27 years that we didn't see each other. Each of us had taken a different path that eventually led us to, well, US.

I was married for over 25 years prior to reconnecting with my high school sweet heart.  I would never say that was a mistake or have regret.  It was a chapter in my life that shaped me into the woman I am today.

I have made mistakes.

Who hasn't?

I grew up with the father of my children and he grew up with me.  Now we are different, but not really.  We have moved into new chapters of our lives and I think we are better people because of what we learned from each other and the past.

I am in a grown up relationship now.
I think that he is too and I am so happy for us both.

So today, I am not only celebrating the life I have now with the man I have loved since I was 15 years old, but the life I had before.  It wasn't always pretty or nice but it is the foundation that grew me.

And now I cherish each moment we have.

And am continually grateful.

Brooms

  I am emotionally advanced (according to my husband). My favorite movies are on the Hallmark channel.  I am mushy and gushy.  Yep.  

I keep things that have some meaning to me.  Silly things. 

For example -  

I have an old broom in the barn.  I have had this broom for more than 10 years.  I can't really remember where it came from.  I saved this old broom because it represented something to me.

It represented HOPE.  Now I know that sounds crazy.  How can an old broom represent something so deep as HOPE?  

For some reason I always pictured that old broom as "the barn broom" .  Even when it was sweeping the back patio in our house in Phoenix, I could imagine sweeping my barn some day.

I held on to that old broom and kept the dream of a simple life in the country alive.

This morning I swept the barn with that old broom.

I am ever thankful for this life. For the simplicity, the quiet, the peace and my broom...

 

Thinking

I do my best thinking in the barn.

Every morning I go out to feed the horses and clean stalls. Many of you "city folk" won't get it - but I actually LIKE the smell of horse poop.

Actually there are many components to the lovely aroma in the barn.

Hay and horses and saddles and tack and then poop mixed in for a pleasurable olfactory experience.  Really.  I am not kidding.

My horses, Rusty and Emmy Lou, greet me every morning as well.  They are very happy to see me because they know I am going to feed them and let them out to the paddock. 

Katie on Emmy Lou
Jordan on Rusty
Christmas 2014

This morning I was thinking about blogging.... Why do people blog? What is the point?  Is it because they have something so great to impart to the universe?  Is it because the blogger is smarter, deeper, more spiritual, etc...? 

I don't think that.

So I decided to let you know why I am blogging.  It is like writing in your journal, but people can read it. That way, what I am going through or have gone through  can get "out" there. And maybe, just maybe someone gets it. And maybe, they comment and what they say is so profound that it helps me. And maybe what I have learned, or my struggles, or my triumphs inspires them.  

Welcome to my life so far.... 

Blogging is hard....

I just looked back and saw that the last post was February 2014.   Hmmm.

Maybe this time I will keep it going.  

The last five months of 2014 have been... I was going to say "very difficult" but the truth is July 31 - December 31st have been horrible, rotten, terrible, awful, I think that is a start.

Death: unbelief,  grief, saddness
Job: unbelief, worry, bewilder,

Don't get me wrong.  There have been bright spots in these last months.   But all overshadowed by such a sense of loss and hurt.

So what have I learned?

1.  God is good
2.  Husbands are everything.
3.  S#@t happens,
4.  Family is everything.
5.  I am not the only one going through hard times.
6.  I can be brave.
7.  I can still laugh
8.  I can cry all I want.
9.  I can wait on the Lord.
10.The bed is still a safe place to hide.
11. Horses are still therapeutic.
12. The barn is my refuge.
13. I am strong.


Many, many more things, but that pretty much sums it up.

I don't really ever have "new year's" resolutions. But this year, after such a hard 2014, I decided to make just one.

I will live each day with GRATITUDE, no matter what is before me...

That's it.

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