The KitchenAid Mixer

 Well,,,

It has been several years since I "blogged" (is that even a word?). This morning I had a few thoughts I was compelled to write down and then those thoughts evolved into this post.

I was mixing up some sour dough in the bowl of my 30+ year old KitchenAid mixer and I was reminded of where that mixer came from. By the way, I pretty much think about where it came from whenever I use it which is almost everyday. 

I was a young mother of 4 working with my then husband at a small church in Washington state. A beautiful soul , named Sharon Rice, gave me and 2 other young mothers a white KitchenAid mixer.  She was a good woman. She had taken us under her wing so to speak. Memories of her have always been so sweet for me.

A little background:

I grew up in  "The Church".  The Church of Christ was/is a non denominational church that was very conservative. Actually, it kind of depended on where you lived. My father was in the Air Force and we moved often. We always found "The Church" where ever we were stationed. In the South and even in the Southwest the churches were pretty conservative. No instrumental music, no dancing, no mixed bathing (that means swimming with the opposite sex).  My parents were not as strict about those things which I think was good. We had lived in several different places and each congregation was unique. But to us the foundation was the same. We lived in Florida and we had a pool and had the youth group over. The kids in the youth group went to the beach together. 

Over the years, after I married (to a person I met at a very, very conservative Christian College in Arkansas) we worked with a few different congregations. First in youth minister, then as the preacher.  I was struck by how different the experiences were. In all the years of working in ministry, around 20 years, there is only one place that measures up to what "The Church' was meant to be. By the way, "The Church" really isn't the correct phrase to describe the congregation.  Or maybe it is, the church actually means the people. The little group of people (the church) in Washington was the ONLY place I have ever felt the love that God intended.  Big mega church in Texas was not interested in me, they swept things that were horrendous under the rug  and silenced those that needed help or were hurt by what was going on.  Little church in Arkansas was deep into the "conservatism". Conservatism is defined - commitment to traditional values and ideas with opposition to change or innovation.  YEP

I know that this is a generalization and that there were people in those places that lived the life that God intended.  I know some of them. But, those places, among others, didn't really demonstrate the body of Christ.  Except.  The little group of people in Washington.  They covered me and my family with love and acceptance. And when things were falling apart held us up. Supported us, LOVED US. 

I am no longer  in any organized ministry, or going to the Church of Christ. And that is OK for me. I am not looking for any guidance or comments about my own soul, etc. I am fine. I am happy and loved and still feel God's presence in my life. 

I am forever grateful for the little church in Washington that embodied the true meaning of the people of Christ.

Thank you Sharon (who has been gone from us for many years) for the mixer. It, and you made a difference in my life.

Whew. Quite the comeback to the blog post!

Peace and love

Cindy

 The flowers are growing! 

Having a farm is a very rewarding experience.  It is also a LOT of hard work.  Now that summer has finally arrived in Montana (temperatures now hitting the 90 degree mark),  the sunflowers are growing like little weeds.  And, unfortunately the weeds are growing like, well, WEEDS.  

Maintaining a beautiful flower garden of any size takes a lot of early morning weeding sessions.  This is the time I can lose myself in thought, or song, or reflection, or planning.  I get immense satisfaction from weeding a row and then looking back at it and seeing the "clean" row of flowers.  Much like the way it feels when the house is clean, or the laundry is all done and put away. Or, like when I am at my "other job" and I finish writing all my patient progress notes which is definitely NOT my favorite part of that job. ; )      

What I find interesting is how our thoughts, plans, and goals change as we age. I NEVER used to think about things like last wills and testaments. Ugh.  or plans for retirement from a career.  YIKES.  or what I am going to "do" when I am not working that career job. My flower farm is my future. Well, my present too!!! Luckily, my career job hours allow me a lot of time at home in between the shifts to work at my retirement plan job. People might think, "Oh that is just her hobby".  It might be, but it is also a big PLAN for the day I retire from my career job. 

I don't know when that is going to be, but when it happens I will be ready!!

One thing I know for sure... I am  doing my best to LIVE every moment of every day.  Even the hard days. And remembering to try to NEVER take anything for granted.  

I hope your days are filled with love and laughter and wonder.  I know mine are....

Also, the website is nearing launch!  Watch for Sapphirefarmsmt.com.  I will let you all know when it is up and running......

Sapphire Farms 🌻

Today my little blog is going to go a new direction!   

It definitely follows along with the reason I started this blog many moons ago.  "What was she thinking" has been a running theme in my life since I can remember. Some decisions I have made worked out great and some, well, not so great.

You can go back and read the first one from January 2014!  Wow. Just a wee bit of time has gone by since I started blogging 😁 I have gone many months without a little hello, but now I have a new PURPOSE!!!!

I own a little business!!! I still work full time as a neonatal nurse practitioner (demanding, nerve racking yet rewarding career) and now I have my flower farm!!!  I LOVE IT!  Also a demanding, nerve racking yet rewarding job.  

The website is under construction.  Sapphire Farms

There is a Facebook page and I'm told I need an Instagram page.  (Are they called pages?) 

The blog will be included in the website and that means... I HAVE TO BLOG MORE THAN ONCE IN A BLUE MOON!!!!

Currently I am growing Lavender and Sunflowers. I think eventually it will be mostly Lavender but I am toying with adding more varieties of flowers. I am trying to stay focused on the Lavender side of things. And if you know me at all, that focus thing is a little hard for me...

So.... Stay tuned for more info!

Photo credit: Jess Bykari

Wow, a second blog post in the same year!

Hello! from a rainy Montana morning. So much going on around here and in our world. 

I have started keeping a gratitude journal. I think in these crazy times it helps me focus on the good. The good that is all around me. 

I struggle with anxiety.  Yep.  It can be quite overwhelming and can take me to dark, sad places. I have learned over the years to face it, name it, and work on ways to get through it.  Sometimes, I can't put my finger on what is causing it in that moment.  But I give myself a break, acknowledge it and then work to move on.  

(Note: This blog wasn't going to be about my anxiety. Maybe I will get to what I intended to write about, or not...😏)

The gratitude journal is a way I can look at things with a positive attitude. I have discovered recently that CHANGE is really hard for me. I don't like all the building and selling off of land around us. I don't like things changing at work. I struggle with old neighbors moving away. I am uncomfortable with investing savings in things even if they are deemed safe. I am deeply worried about the state of the world.  And so many other things....  BUT...when I put on paper 5 things I am grateful for every morning my mind shifts to the good. To so many things I am so blessed with.  Definitely helps set the tone for the day.

Spring is in the air!  Spring here is glorious, new birth of earth and beast.  Green fields and new baby animals all around us. I am forever amazed by the changing seasons. 

I am excited for the plans I have for our farm.  More lavender on the way, expanding the sunflower field... We are going to begin making some lavender products, later in the summer (more about that later). 

It is the first mild day of March.

Each minute sweeter than before...

There is a blessing in the air...

~~William Wordsworth

Happy thoughts!

cindy

2022

A few updates from cgs life so far and Sunflower farms.

It is 2022.  How did that happen?  

We have been navigating (or trying to at least) this crazy world.  The last time I posted a blog was in 2020!  ONE WHOLE YEAR has gone by!  Full of fear, uncertainty, worry, unstable economy, unstable political stuff and SO. MUCH. MORE.  One of the weirdest things to me was how everything sort of came to a hard stop in 2020. It was as if time stopped.  But it didn't and we moved through the year with hope.  Hope that the worst was behind us.  Hope that things would get back to normal.  Well, it didn't.  We had to navigate new variants of the virus, continued unrest in our country, work stress or lack of work stress and so many other things. I have had to stop watching the news.  I still look at Facebook, but have removed anyone that continually posts negative or political things.  I like to see my friend's happy pictures of family and places and happy events.  Same for Instagram.

In my work, babies continued to be born, but we began to see what seemed to be complications from mother's having Covid in pregnancy.  We had to separate babies from their Covid positive mothers after birth in some cases. We lost babies.  We lost mothers and fathers to the virus. We had/have staffing shortages.  And burn out.  And controversy over the vaccine (not going to get into that, but it has been difficult). 

I feel so fortunate to have an amazing NICU team to work with. We hold each other up. We encourage and support each other.  I am grateful for my work environment.  Our office is our safe place. We can cry, fuss, curse, laugh at inappropriate things and be ourselves.  Then we put on our big girl/boy pants and walk out the door to care for our little patients.

I got Covid in June of 2021 even after doing all the things...  Had the intestinal variety.  It was not pretty.  But the worst of it only lasted a week, I  had to have IV fluids at the start in the ER. and I lost some weight.  Still have some food issues, including not being able to eat Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.  If you know me very well then you know these were my very favorite.  For some crazy reason the smell and taste of them still is nauseating to me.  A very sad thing indeed.

2021 was also a time for growth and reflection.  For studying new things. For contemplating how to move forward. 

Sapphire Farms had another wonderful crop of sunflowers.  We made pretty bouquets and sold them in front of the local grocery store and we gave half of what we made to the fire department.  We also had a lovely little crop of lavender.  The first year for the lavender was an experiment to see how it would grow and produce.  We planted little tiny plants (144 of them) and watched with anticipation to see if they would flourish.  AND they did.  I have a big barn wagon full of dried lavender.  Not sure what to do with it now, but it does make the barn smell nice. So, I have ordered 144 more little lavender plants and have some ideas of what we are going to do with it, so stay tuned to find out 😊   

Lastly, for now, we got a new puppy in 2021.  I lost my chocolate lab, Lucy near the end of 2019.  We decided to wait for a while to get another dog and do some traveling. We went to visit Chip and Joanna in Waco in November, 2019. Ok, not them personally, but their Silos, restaurant, shops and bakery.  In December, 2019, I gave myself a big 60th birthday party. In January, 2020 we visited Arizona to celebrate our mother's birthdays.  And at the end of February, 2020, we went to New York City.  We had planned trips to Portland to see the kids, to Hawaii for a conference in the following months but that was a bust. Finally, we decided travel was over rated and in January of 2021 decided to look for a puppy.  Luna was born on February 27th (the Snow Moon) in Deer Lodge, Montana.  She is a black lab and came to live with us in May of 2021.  She will be 11 months old the end of this month and is so much fun!  She thinks Ed is her master and I am a litter mate.  Not sure how that happened..😉

I plan to write here more often this year.  We will see if that actually happens...

Happy January, 2022

Cindy

Uncertain Times

Good morning from Montana!   

It is 2 days post election day and many results are not in yet.  Like who will be leading this country for the next four years??  

I do not intend to politisize (is that a word?).  I am sure people (including me) are struggling through this very stressful time.   Dealing with so much uncertainty is so hard.  So so so hard.  

I have been very lucky, blessed, what ever you want to call it, through this time.  I still have my job.  I guess I am considered an essential worker.  The NICU continues to have babies in need of care, despite the virus.  So far, at least for us,  most of our patients are not related to Covid 19.   At least not yet.  

I have an amazing husband.  His job, insurance, also is something that hasn't stopped.  He has his own company and office and has been able to socially distance while working.   The other thing about this amazing man is that he is a volunteer firefighter, EMT.  He often has put himself at risk in order to care for our community.  

My home is my sanctuary.  I love coming home from a long day/night at work and relaxing in front of the fire.  My dinner is usually waiting when I get home (another thing my sweet man does for me) Yesterday, I was looking out the window and saw my horses.  

Now, a little back story.  I used to dream of what my "perfect" life would look like.  It included a wrap around porch ✔  living in the country ✔ big red barn ✔ horses ✔✔.  

I have looked out the window and often see the horses.  But yesterday it was different.  I was reminded that I am so blessed.  Is my life perfect?  Absolutely not.  Do I have stress and worry? Absolutely yes.  But, yesterday, looking out the window, the feeling of gratitude was overwhelming.  

No matter what happens in the next few days..weeks..months.... I hope there are things in your lives that fill you with gratitude, peace, love and hope.  

Really? A Pandemic?

Hello!

For some reason consistently blogging is not my jam.... My last post was in 2017.  And a LOT has happened since then.

Our farm is not named Crooked Creek Farm because someone else somewhere has that name.  We are called Sapphire Farms. We live next to the Sapphire Mountains in the Bitterroot  Valley, Montana. Thus the name.  We attempted to farm hay one year.  We bought some used equipment for a trial run and found that it wasn't going to be something we loved. (understatement)   We did put up about 132 bales that year so that was some reward for the hard work.

After that we thought, well what can we do with this land?  Cows? (truth is I don't like the taste of the "grass fed only cows") Some other kind of crop? Some other animals? After a lot of thought we decided to become a Lavender farm.  Found a supplier, gave him half down on 600 plants back last February and started to map out the plot.  

We were supposed to pick up the Lavender in early June.  I called and called the supplier. Finally heard from him that he wasn't going to be able to have the plants due to some kind of issue with the propagating dirt.  Buh-by down payment.  Still haven't gotten a refund.  😡

So after some discussion, we planted Sunflowers.  I AM NOT SURE WHY.   

We planted 12 rows that are 90 feet long with 6 different varieties of branching Sunflowers.  Put over 1000 seeds in the ground.  And the majority grew and are still growing.  I suppose we should have had a full on plan as to what to do with them, right?  

We decided to make bouquets and put them in mason jars and sell them.  Problem is...they grow and bloom at different times.  Who knew? 😏  Currently, we are set up to sell them at the local grocery store on Saturday.  This Saturday.   A few days from NOW.   

To add to the chaos, we decided to make it a fundraiser for the fire department.  Thought that might give folks the incentive to buy.🌻

What does all this have to do with the Pandemic? you ask.   Nothing really.  I do have some thoughts about the Pandemic and how we have been navigating it.  I think that is for the next post, probably in 2025. Since I can't seem to keep it going.... Enjoy the rest of your week.  

Cindy