The flowers are growing! 

Having a farm is a very rewarding experience.  It is also a LOT of hard work.  Now that summer has finally arrived in Montana (temperatures now hitting the 90 degree mark),  the sunflowers are growing like little weeds.  And, unfortunately the weeds are growing like, well, WEEDS.  

Maintaining a beautiful flower garden of any size takes a lot of early morning weeding sessions.  This is the time I can lose myself in thought, or song, or reflection, or planning.  I get immense satisfaction from weeding a row and then looking back at it and seeing the "clean" row of flowers.  Much like the way it feels when the house is clean, or the laundry is all done and put away. Or, like when I am at my "other job" and I finish writing all my patient progress notes which is definitely NOT my favorite part of that job. ; )      

What I find interesting is how our thoughts, plans, and goals change as we age. I NEVER used to think about things like last wills and testaments. Ugh.  or plans for retirement from a career.  YIKES.  or what I am going to "do" when I am not working that career job. My flower farm is my future. Well, my present too!!! Luckily, my career job hours allow me a lot of time at home in between the shifts to work at my retirement plan job. People might think, "Oh that is just her hobby".  It might be, but it is also a big PLAN for the day I retire from my career job. 

I don't know when that is going to be, but when it happens I will be ready!!

One thing I know for sure... I am  doing my best to LIVE every moment of every day.  Even the hard days. And remembering to try to NEVER take anything for granted.  

I hope your days are filled with love and laughter and wonder.  I know mine are....

Also, the website is nearing launch!  Watch for Sapphirefarmsmt.com.  I will let you all know when it is up and running......

Sapphire Farms 🌻

Today my little blog is going to go a new direction!   

It definitely follows along with the reason I started this blog many moons ago.  "What was she thinking" has been a running theme in my life since I can remember. Some decisions I have made worked out great and some, well, not so great.

You can go back and read the first one from January 2014!  Wow. Just a wee bit of time has gone by since I started blogging 😁 I have gone many months without a little hello, but now I have a new PURPOSE!!!!

I own a little business!!! I still work full time as a neonatal nurse practitioner (demanding, nerve racking yet rewarding career) and now I have my flower farm!!!  I LOVE IT!  Also a demanding, nerve racking yet rewarding job.  

The website is under construction.  Sapphire Farms

There is a Facebook page and I'm told I need an Instagram page.  (Are they called pages?) 

The blog will be included in the website and that means... I HAVE TO BLOG MORE THAN ONCE IN A BLUE MOON!!!!

Currently I am growing Lavender and Sunflowers. I think eventually it will be mostly Lavender but I am toying with adding more varieties of flowers. I am trying to stay focused on the Lavender side of things. And if you know me at all, that focus thing is a little hard for me...

So.... Stay tuned for more info!

Photo credit: Jess Bykari

Wow, a second blog post in the same year!

Hello! from a rainy Montana morning. So much going on around here and in our world. 

I have started keeping a gratitude journal. I think in these crazy times it helps me focus on the good. The good that is all around me. 

I struggle with anxiety.  Yep.  It can be quite overwhelming and can take me to dark, sad places. I have learned over the years to face it, name it, and work on ways to get through it.  Sometimes, I can't put my finger on what is causing it in that moment.  But I give myself a break, acknowledge it and then work to move on.  

(Note: This blog wasn't going to be about my anxiety. Maybe I will get to what I intended to write about, or not...😏)

The gratitude journal is a way I can look at things with a positive attitude. I have discovered recently that CHANGE is really hard for me. I don't like all the building and selling off of land around us. I don't like things changing at work. I struggle with old neighbors moving away. I am uncomfortable with investing savings in things even if they are deemed safe. I am deeply worried about the state of the world.  And so many other things....  BUT...when I put on paper 5 things I am grateful for every morning my mind shifts to the good. To so many things I am so blessed with.  Definitely helps set the tone for the day.

Spring is in the air!  Spring here is glorious, new birth of earth and beast.  Green fields and new baby animals all around us. I am forever amazed by the changing seasons. 

I am excited for the plans I have for our farm.  More lavender on the way, expanding the sunflower field... We are going to begin making some lavender products, later in the summer (more about that later). 

It is the first mild day of March.

Each minute sweeter than before...

There is a blessing in the air...

~~William Wordsworth

Happy thoughts!

cindy

2022

A few updates from cgs life so far and Sunflower farms.

It is 2022.  How did that happen?  

We have been navigating (or trying to at least) this crazy world.  The last time I posted a blog was in 2020!  ONE WHOLE YEAR has gone by!  Full of fear, uncertainty, worry, unstable economy, unstable political stuff and SO. MUCH. MORE.  One of the weirdest things to me was how everything sort of came to a hard stop in 2020. It was as if time stopped.  But it didn't and we moved through the year with hope.  Hope that the worst was behind us.  Hope that things would get back to normal.  Well, it didn't.  We had to navigate new variants of the virus, continued unrest in our country, work stress or lack of work stress and so many other things. I have had to stop watching the news.  I still look at Facebook, but have removed anyone that continually posts negative or political things.  I like to see my friend's happy pictures of family and places and happy events.  Same for Instagram.

In my work, babies continued to be born, but we began to see what seemed to be complications from mother's having Covid in pregnancy.  We had to separate babies from their Covid positive mothers after birth in some cases. We lost babies.  We lost mothers and fathers to the virus. We had/have staffing shortages.  And burn out.  And controversy over the vaccine (not going to get into that, but it has been difficult). 

I feel so fortunate to have an amazing NICU team to work with. We hold each other up. We encourage and support each other.  I am grateful for my work environment.  Our office is our safe place. We can cry, fuss, curse, laugh at inappropriate things and be ourselves.  Then we put on our big girl/boy pants and walk out the door to care for our little patients.

I got Covid in June of 2021 even after doing all the things...  Had the intestinal variety.  It was not pretty.  But the worst of it only lasted a week, I  had to have IV fluids at the start in the ER. and I lost some weight.  Still have some food issues, including not being able to eat Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.  If you know me very well then you know these were my very favorite.  For some crazy reason the smell and taste of them still is nauseating to me.  A very sad thing indeed.

2021 was also a time for growth and reflection.  For studying new things. For contemplating how to move forward. 

Sapphire Farms had another wonderful crop of sunflowers.  We made pretty bouquets and sold them in front of the local grocery store and we gave half of what we made to the fire department.  We also had a lovely little crop of lavender.  The first year for the lavender was an experiment to see how it would grow and produce.  We planted little tiny plants (144 of them) and watched with anticipation to see if they would flourish.  AND they did.  I have a big barn wagon full of dried lavender.  Not sure what to do with it now, but it does make the barn smell nice. So, I have ordered 144 more little lavender plants and have some ideas of what we are going to do with it, so stay tuned to find out 😊   

Lastly, for now, we got a new puppy in 2021.  I lost my chocolate lab, Lucy near the end of 2019.  We decided to wait for a while to get another dog and do some traveling. We went to visit Chip and Joanna in Waco in November, 2019. Ok, not them personally, but their Silos, restaurant, shops and bakery.  In December, 2019, I gave myself a big 60th birthday party. In January, 2020 we visited Arizona to celebrate our mother's birthdays.  And at the end of February, 2020, we went to New York City.  We had planned trips to Portland to see the kids, to Hawaii for a conference in the following months but that was a bust. Finally, we decided travel was over rated and in January of 2021 decided to look for a puppy.  Luna was born on February 27th (the Snow Moon) in Deer Lodge, Montana.  She is a black lab and came to live with us in May of 2021.  She will be 11 months old the end of this month and is so much fun!  She thinks Ed is her master and I am a litter mate.  Not sure how that happened..😉

I plan to write here more often this year.  We will see if that actually happens...

Happy January, 2022

Cindy